My Body

I am writing this post at 7:43 p.m. Wednesday and I have been trying to decide what to write for a site that’s supposed to pay you to blog. Anyway, this post is about my body, from head to toe. And it is mainly about my belly. I Am a Curvygurl is about body confidence and about having self – esteem and luving yourself, your body and accepting your body.

I don’t stay in the mirror and I don’t avoid the mirror. I am almost 50 years old and am glad that I am stile here on this earth. I have never been flashy but I do like high heel shoes and dresses. Right now I am still going back and forth with getting another relaxer or trying to go natural and find a stylist. And, yep, you know it, my head is a mess. For the longest time I have had two knots on my head that look like I could attach antenea on the top. Plus head is big. That I don’t worry about. Cause I can’t change it. My shoulder and back are wide. But, my breast I like. I am not top-heavy but I think I look fine. I like my chest area.

If I could stick with a workout I know I would like my waist. My problem is the belly. My stomach has me looking like I am pregnant, even after I had a hysterectomy. Years ago, I had the surgery and I have this long scar where they cut me. Now it’s a dark shade where I was cut. Now I have a scar where I had surgery for a kidney transplant. I am grateful for this transplant because I am just not ready to die yet. I had a catherer and everything. Definitely didn’t like that. So now I have spots across my stomach. 

I like my hips and accept them. But I got a problem with my thighs. Need to work on them to get ’em in shape. And no, I don’t care about no thigh gap. Besides, I’m knock-kneed(like Kerry Washington and Marilyn Monroe). My lower legs are a nice size, but my feet give me trouble. Last year or maybe it was 2012, I was diagnosed as have plantar faci…. I’m flat-footed. My left foot. So I had some shoes ordered and I am trying to wear them more. But I still like heels. 

I have a secret. Kinda. I really want some red pumps. it’s probably not a big deal to some women, you already have a pair probably. But I have a weird reason for wanting red pumps. i have diabetes and at fist I didn’t feel some of the pain in my feet that I read about in magazines or saw on commercials. But now I think I might have to talk to my doctor. But I am still shopping for heels, red or black. When I was younger until I was in my thirties, I wore socks all the time. Even when it was summer. Yea, I’m kinda weird. 

Even though I have marks and scars from having to do dialysis three times a week and having two operations that left me with scars and having to take prescriptions that are leaving dark areas on my body, I am still more confident about my body than many people I read about. It’s kinda sad when I read about some people. What I see is a person who takes care of herself, in shape, seems like she is outgoing and looks happy, a lot of women are sad. They are listening to other people talk negative about them. I am not dating right now but “what I know for sure” is that when I click with the right man(and I don’t mean mr. perfect), he is going to find out that he is a lucky man. Because I know I am special and when we get together he is going to find out.

I follow this blog titled “Curves Become Her” which I have mentioned before and this lady seems so sweet. Yea, she is curvy and she has big beautiful eyes and deep dimples. I love her smile, In her post she talks bluntly about her body issues. But I really like her. I have a list of women who I like just because they are proud of their bodies such as Kim K. and Kate Upton and Beyonce. One actress I really admire is Mariska Hargitay – Olivia in Law and Order: SVU. Now she got a body. And did ya’ll know her mom is the late Jane/Jayne Mansfeild? Yea, that’s right. What? Don’t know that is? She got a body too. Queen Lafifah looks like she is losing weight and seeing her on the Grammys in that gown, showing them curves. I was like, that gurl looks good in that dress. 

I like to hear stories where a mother is teaching her daughter to love her body at a young age. Some stories are crazy and some I don’t even think about. I like the story about Zoe Saldana, and I was interested in the stories about Melissa McCarthy(yea, Jenny’s cousin) and Lena Dunham. I am not looking down on women who are slim because I believe that is how their bodies are. I feel that they are not the ones who don’t eat regularly. I don’t like fat – shaming or photo-cropping or whatever they want to call it. Nobody is perfect. I luv my curves. yea, that’s my tagline but it’s true. But it’s scary to see a person’s bones when they are still alive. I have even seen a story about a former male model who used to be anorexic. That was sad.

Don’t starve yourself people. You have to be healthy. Take care of yourself. No, I am not in perfect health but I have to keep working on it. Everybody is not meant to be skinny and I know I don’t want to be and I know I want to be with a man who appreciates my curves. Because I do. I am a curvygurl and I luv my curves!! 🙂